Necessary Soft Skills To Develop In Your Twenties, Post-Grad Life

After you graduate college, you feel like you know it all. What else could you possibly have to learn and know beyond the classroom, you might ask yourself. A lot. Quite a lot. Many skills need constant attention and work to refine. We will never be perfect at any of these, no matter what phase of life we are in. But, we have the opportunity to work on these skills in post-grad years. 

These skills will make post-grad life just a bit easier. The more you can practice these, the more you will excel in life.

Listening

The quickly slipping soft skill that seems so simple yet is so hard for us to actually engage in. In the current rush society, we often listen to respond. We hear the bits and pieces we want to hear but don’t always take in what is being said. We are not present in conversations as we scroll through social media or send that one quick text. In a world where we have so many options to listen, we are not truly hearing.

Learning to listen is a key skill to master. It makes you more attractive to employers but also to people in general. If you demonstrate yourself as someone who has uninterrupted listening, people will flock to you. Everyone wants to be heard, and finding someone who will actively be attentive to the words coming out of their mouths makes you the ideal conversationist. 

The biggest step is putting the phone down. It is so hard to do so, with all the notifications and quick dopamine hits we get every day from the apps that consume our lives. But put the phone down. You make yourself open and inviting to others when you give strict eye contact and facial expressions. You will be amazed at how much you can pick up in a conversation when you are all in. Even if you hear the words being said, you want to watch body language and social cues to truly make up what the conversation is about. 

First, seek to hear and pause before responding. Give people the opportunity to finish before having thoughts. It is easy for us to cut in and say what small thought popped into our minds when we hear a triggering word, but wait. Just wait to hear because sometimes as the conversation goes on, it might shift in a different direction you were not expecting. With better listening, you will become more intelligent and understand those around you better. You can pick up on motives, emotions, and other feelings so much easier if you just listen.

Be present in all that you do. Give people the attention you wish to get from others.

Communication

We are losing our ability to communicate. Our voices are hidden behind screens and speakers and we are not always actively practicing good communication. What does that look like?

Learning to communicate our situations, feelings, and emotions with those around us is a good start. Holding valuable conversations with those that you care about is just the base of communication. But in person. Not over the phone, not over text, not even FaceTime. More in-person interactions increase our ability to speak effectively. Get together in person to have good and bad conversations. Nothing done over the phone, in person. If we go back to the roots of speaking, our skills will be enhanced and our lives will be enriched. There will be no miscommunication when all words are spoken honestly and openly.

Another way we can communicate is by speaking to strangers. A lot of us bury our noses in our phones in public to look busy and fill the void of conversation. It won’t hurt you to put your phone down and observe those around you. Strike up a conversation with someone next to you on the plane, at the bar, or even at the gym. Show interest in others because the world has a lot to offer. 

Attention to Detail

Details are key to getting through life. If you do not read the fine print or between the lines, you will miss a lot. 

Details are in people. People show a lot about themselves just by minor details of body language, environment, habits, and thinking processes. You can tell who someone is just by paying attention to more than they say. 

Careful examination of details in your work goes a long way. If you are thorough and take your efficient time to complete a task, your output will be much better than if you were doing it to just check a box. Adding detail where it can bring value also gives your work a spark that might put you ahead of others. Seek detail in all that you do and watch the smallest pieces produce the biggest award.

We miss a lot of small things when we are not paying attention. We might be running around Rome taking pictures of all the attractions and walking through the city. But have you ever caught yourself stopping to look at what is around you and noticing the finest element? I know I have taken the time to look at things just to truly capture every characteristic that I can. It makes the experience that much better.

Take the time to see the details. This just might make life a little more exciting.

Punctuality

Being late is rude. There I said it. Come after me. 

Of course, there are legitimate reasons for being late and that is ok. Doctor appointments ran over, car wouldn’t start, work meetings kept you late, these are all reasons that are beyond your control. That is okay.

But being late simply because you weren’t watching the clock, you were occupied with something else, or because you didn’t care to look at the directions before are not valid excuses. Being punctual (5-10 minutes early) shows that you value what you are doing. If you are meeting other people, it shows that you care enough about them and your gathering to show when you are supposed to. If a specific time is set, there is a reason. If you blatantly ignore that, you are disregarding the other people. You are showing you don’t care enough, you are signaling that they are not as important as something else. No one wants to feel like they are the second option or pushed to the side. Be on time, even if that means leaving earlier than you think you need to. People respect those who are early and take the time to show that they care. Earn respect and improve yourself by being punctual. 

Early is on time, on time is late, and late is not an option. 

Reliability

Flaking has become all too normal. We find a lot of ways to get out of things that we already committed to (guilty). But to become reliable, you also have to become picky.

When you make plans, think if you actually will want to do that when the time comes. It is easy to agree to something without thinking but take a second to think it through. Give it the answer you feel is appropriate for when the time will come.

Part of reliability is doing what you say you are going to do, no matter what it is. You are becoming reliable to yourself and others when you act upon your words. You prove to yourself that you keep your word, even when you don’t want to. Another part of reliability is not doing the things you won’t do. If you have decided to be sober, and you actively choose not to drink even though you are in a bar surrounded by others pounding theirs, you are staying true to your word. You are sticking to what you want, and not compromising for any reason. You are diligent and strong. 

Learn to become reliable for yourself as YOU are the only constant person during the entirety of your life. YOU can choose to show up for yourself each and every day. 

Organization

Chaos in the mind carries over to your surroundings. Your life becomes half-lived when you are scrambled eggs thinking of a million half-thoughts. 

Begin to put your thoughts together. Think about each part of your life and begin to craft meaningful plans that you will execute.

Think about relationships, and how you want to interact with others in your life. What kind of social events do you want to attend? How many? Who do you want to do it with? What time will you make it for your family? 

Where are you in your career? Where do you want to go? What do you need to do to get there? 

I could write a million more questions, but you get the gist. Sit down and think through each aspect of your life to keep yourself organized. Sometimes we get derailed when we get sick or have something sudden come up, but come back to the peaceful feeling of getting organized. 

Routine

Part of establishing a great organization is having a strong routine. Now for someone like me who has constant interruptions in routine due to travel, it is hard to fall into the one path. However, a routine does not have to be the same things done in the same place.

For example, part of my routine is eating relatively healthy. Of course, I cannot cook in the hotel rooms I frequent, but I can actively choose to get a salad rather than try their town's best burger and fries. I also enjoy working out. As much as I do not want to after a long day running multiple meetings and sometimes driving hours, I know to keep myself sane and disciplined I have to do something. I have to move my body and stick to my routine. 

Routines can be changed, adapted, and altered to whatever your goals are. I have noticed myself trying to have a better routine of skin care cause that often gets neglected on the road. Think about the components you want to include in your routine. What can you include every day that will better you in some way later on? Is it prayer? Journaling? Learning in some way? 

Make a manageable routine that you can stick to and that will put you in a better situation later. 

Budgeting

Big kid money feels so good! Watching the largest amounts you have ever made hit your account can put an instant smile on your face and ideas of what you want to buy in your head. 

We have a high consumption society that pushes us to buy buy buy. Sometimes, reckless buying causes us to not know where our money goes. Budgeting not only helps us control the money for now but also for our future. Knowing that when you budget and think about investing in your future, you set yourself up for life. You are caring for your older self even when it seems like such a stretch from now. Skip the clothes you know you don’t need and put money away for your future. Invest in things like Roths, 401k’s, stocks, real estate, or however, you choose to grow your money. 

You don’t need as many items as you think you do. Consider more of a simpler living approach and allow your money to set you up for the life you want in the future.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional maturity is a golden skill. When you understand how to keep your emotions in check in any situation, it speaks highly of you. Your reaction gives people power over you, whether it is good or bad. Now, I am not saying don’t get excited when you get a generous gift or when you are enjoying a great meal with friends. 

What I am saying is, in situations where you are not with your closest people, keep your emotions level. Meaning, that when you are receiving criticism, react the same way you would when getting a promotion. Relaxed and composed. Don’t let someone see that you might be bothered by the criticism or are so excited about the promotion that they know they can hold it over your head. When you show people around you that you can keep your composure, you show that you are in control. You have the power to control the situation that you are in based on your reaction or lack thereof. 

Another part of emotional intelligence is accepting change. There is so much change that happens in your twenties that sometimes it is almost hard to accept. Life gets crazy and if you don’t roll with what is in front of you, you will have a hard time. Accept your present and redirect your course of action to what is happening now. Not what could happen in the future but what is happening now. Quickly understanding and accepting the change going on around you makes you better adaptable for any situation that may come your way. You become more resilient and let fewer things get to you. You never know what the path ahead has in store. Practice being ok with what is happening and embrace the differences in life. 

One last piece of emotional intelligence that people in their twenties struggle with is making a decision. People express that they hate being the decision-maker and have a hard time choosing things such as dinner. When you cannot make a decision both big and small, you show that you doubt yourself, distrust yourself, and truly don’t believe in yourself to pick the right path. When making a decision, think about it for just a moment, then commit. Sometimes it might be the wrong choice and you learn a lesson. Other times, you will be glad you went the way you did. Practicing making a decision each day, and sticking to it builds confidence and trust within ourselves. You become more of a leader and intelligent individual when you can make a decision.

You are one decision away, good or bad, from changing your life. Select the right choice for you in every situation. 

Now you are equipped with the best skills for the start of post-grad life. I hope you make a conscious effort every day to practice these skills any chance you get. Your twenties is a time to learn, grow, and seek to understand yourself. Choose to become a person your younger self would admire. 

Learn To Grow In Your Twenties